It’s been hard to see through the fog of tiredness this week. I keep thinking about sleep, and all the administration things I have to do around my own life in the three hours a day I have between getting home from work and bedtime. Things as simple as reading business mail, replying to emails, filing away the mountain of papers precariously balanced on my windowsill. Never mind anything creative. Sometimes it’s hard to see through and not compare to others who are managing to juggle their lives with (seeming) ease. And sometimes it’s hard to see through all the busyness, to the good that’s happening in life; so this call to look at things that make me happy from battle mum (awesome blog name) is quite timely, though I’m late in taking up the challenge.
1. My two girls.
They are driving me bonkers at the moment from tiredness but watching them begin to bond is heartwarming. Small girl takes great care of smaller girl, and a few days ago when smaller girl was sad, she went over to her big sister for a hug and calmed down immediately. It was wonderful to see. They continue to challenge me to grow emotionally and learn to embrace relationships fully. After all, how can I possibly expect them to form healthy relationships if I don’t model that in my relationship to each and both of them. No one said it’d get twice as hard with two, but there you go.
At the moment it’s all I think about, dream about, long for. When I get up and realise I’ve had a rare four hour stretch…..aaaaah! I know I’ll someday have more sleep so I’m not freaking out at the moment, just rolling with it. But when I do manage to sleep, oh the dreams I have! If only I had a machine that could write out my dreams into a novel, I’d be a famous writer by now. I have the most amazingly detailed dreams and often have lucid dreams too. I love my sleep when it happens.
I write a lot. I’ve always loved writing. Mostly fiction, so it’s breaking my heart at the moment that my creativity is at an all time low due to tiredness. Seriously, I can’t tell you how much it’s affecting me. But anyway, I’ve finally found the genre I want to be in and I’ve been collecting ideas so that I can someday find the time to write. I write every day, just not fiction and not always things I enjoy. I have beautiful notebooks, and pens I’ve collected over years that flow in my hand and I cannot wait to get writing fiction again. My goal is a novel by year’s end so gotta get writing soon.
4. Blue skies
How I long for them. How I love them when they appear. Whether it’s winter, spring, summer or autumn, Nothing beats a beautiful blue sky devoid of clouds. It lifts my spirit and makes my skin come alive. We’ve been so lucky over the last two weeks to experience blue skies on a daily basis.
And ”tis the season. The shops are full of fresh sweet corn. Not exactly the same as maize but I’m not fussy. You take what you’re given and you like it. Boiled or roasted, it hits the spot every time. Except for a certain giant supermarket’s corn labeled “extra sweet and juicy that tasted of air and was chewy as duck. Grrr. Never again.
Which has been my lifesaver. I don’t drink alcohol so after a stressful week, nothing is better than a nice piece of chocolate to take the edge off. Yorkie raisin and biscuit is my absolute favourite thing of a Friday afternoon, on the bus, on the way home from work. It’s my indicator that I have two days of hanging around with my little gang. Bliss.
7. Wireless headphones
I have no idea why it took me so long to use wireless headphones but they absolutely rock. There’s nothing quite like being free if pesky wires to listen to music, radio, podcasts or anything at all.
I absolutely adore the cuddles. Waking up to beautiful dark eyelashes resting on chubby little cheeks, mouth slightly open letting out the tiniest little snores. The gorgeous smiles first thing in the morning just for me. And when we’re joined by Roz on the weekends, Elle jars awake more and I sleep even less but the cuddles are multiplied and watching the two of them asleep side by side is wonderful. I wouldn’t trade it for the world….I would trade it for lots more sleep, but only just. Maybe.
9. Having a back garden.
I’ve lost count of the number of barbecues we’ve had over the summer. Of the times I’ve lain out in the hammock rocking gently with Elle, of sitting on the grass having picnics with them, and recently watching Elle make her own hesitant way around it to disturb her sister’s clubhouse. A piece of nature where I don’t have to worry about broken bottles or dog poo is priceless in a city riddled by both in every natural spot.
10. The other half.
I suppose I have to mention him (grumble, grumble) because he does make me happy. Ten years in and his corny sense of humour still gets me every time. He’s currently a stay at home dad, and parenting full time is bloody hard and lonely work but I’m so grateful that he’s there for the girls full-time.
If you’d like to read more, you can find the round up of other things that make other bloggers happy at Battle mum’s blog.
Thanks for stopping by.